Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Screenplay

        Today, somebody using the name Damon Packard contacted Richard Hoagland on his FB page, inviting him to perform a cameo in a movie called Foxfur. He wrote:

It's an independent film I'm making, a short based on a feature script about a young girl named Foxfur. You are mentioned quite prominently in it and are even in a few scenes. I would love to send you the script or more detailed info. The climax deals with PHOBOS and Mt SHASTA. It treats all the material in an honest, serious (and hopefully) intelligent way. It would mean a lot to have you in it. My films are fairly well known in indie circles and a few in general release (Reflections of Evil, etc) so this is a serious inquiry. I guarantee you it would not only be a fun project but would portray you in a good light. And it would be your debut as an actor.

        James Concannon very swiftly came up with a spoof screenplay for Foxfur, which deserves a longer shelf life than FB provides, especially with Hoagland himself on the prowl with his DELETE button. So I reprint it with permission, and with extra formatting that FB doesn't allow.


SCENE 21. INT. RADIO STUDIO. NITE

LOW ANGLE on RCH, looking confident

HOAGLAND
STS-125 will be canceled.

CUT to B-ROLL: STS-125 launch

HOAGLAND
Ares 1-X will never reach the launch pad.

WHIP PAN TO B-ROLL: Ares 1-X on the pad 2 days later

HOAGLAND
NASA will never resolve the ECO sensor problem using conventional engineering.

CUT to Lockheed engineer installing new (conventional) pass-through connector. Engineer grins and gives a thumbs-up.

HOAGLAND
STS-133 will be powered by hyperdimensional torsion fields.

FX WIPE TO B-ROLL: STS-133 launch using ordinary rocket fuels


        By the way, Hoagland accepted. Well, provisionally. He said he'd read the script on his way to the Amsterdam "Secret Space Program" conf. (eyeroll)

Update: Yep, it's deleted.

8 comments:

Chris Lopes said...

Not surprised it was deleted. The other night, James, I, and someone named Storm Front had quite the time keeping up with Richard's deleting thing. The man wears his fear on his sleeve. To an outsider it must have been quite (as Storm Front put it) educational.

As to the substance of James movie script, it's only funny because it's true. I'm not sure what the real movie is supposed to be about, but it certainly hit Hoagland where he lives: in his ego.

Biological_Unit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Biological_Unit said...

I agree with Art Bell - SHOW ME ONE H-D GADGET PLEASE!!

I tried to post that at his Facebook wall.
It will be deleted, so re-post at will. Let that phony Sue us!

8fb0769e-5505-11e0-90cd-000bcdcb8a73 said...

"Foxfur"?? I thought it was a porno film.....

Biological_Unit said...

Cheap, legal hookers and Good Weed - Amsterdam is Awesome!

Chris Lopes said...

BU, the we can (and will) continue to ask the question, but we both know it will go unanswered. We also both know that the faithful will not be bothered by that fact. They really don't want the truth. They prefer the comfort of the the fantasies that Hoagland offers them.

Biological_Unit said...

His group is star-struck by his celebrity.

The Coast show reaches many hundreds of thousands of insomniacs and night-shift working stiffs. Very few of these are true believers who support him on Facebook.

I'm picking up the DVD of the Starlost '70's Science Fiction series this morning from the library. I live my life on the edge, hookers and blow and all that ;)

Chris Lopes said...

BU, even Coast to Coast tries to keep him at arms length. They have him on for a few minutes every few weeks. When he's on, Noory does his best to keep him on a tight leash. The minute Richard starts to slip into the Hoagland Zone, George cuts him off. I'm guessing that's why he has returned to the public FB site. He needs the audience.