Friday, June 17, 2016

The "Quayle gallop"

        Coast to Coast AM is concluding a vintage week, during which it offered us some of its most notable fantasists. You know, those guys who actually know nothing but can make it sound as if they know a great deal for as long as George Noory wants them to. Here's a line-up of the most delusional:

11 June: David Sereda: Zero-point energy, crop circles, anti-gravity. C2C has described him as a "Filmmaker and mystic ecologist."
14 June: Steve Quayle, Self-described expert on everything that means doom for the human race, who announced a year ago that he would never appear on C2C again. This blog has mocked him before, and Jason Colavito had a go last year, opining that "Quayle is either self-deluded, deeply stupid, or intentionally deceiving his audience."
15 June: Michael Salla. Salla promotes the idea that we are at war with extraterrestrials and have been for some time. He says that this is a cosmic secret, only known to very senior military officers, on a need-to-know basis. He doesn't explain how he knows it himself. His actual expertise is in conflict resolution.

        Steve Quayle came on in the second hour on Tuesday night and galloped through the following topics: Fukushima radiation -- Chemtrails -- Nephilim -- Robotics -- Hitler -- Fallen angels -- Drones -- Artificial intelligence -- Xenogenesis -- Human cloning -- Chimeras -- Genetic Armageddon -- Stargates -- Wormholes -- Andrew Basiago -- Edward Teller -- Abduction -- Supersoldiers -- Black Knight -- Bigfoot -- Frankenstein.

        ...and that was all before the first commercial break. Truth was in very short supply -- here he is on xenogenesis, promoting his book on Fallen Angels:

11:06 "By the way, the word xenogenesis.. X.E.N.O... I get people trying to pronounce my book to me, and I have to correct them -- you know, some of them write Z.E.N.O. -- but I devote the whole book to basically where future technology is taking us. I told you, I can't go any further than that book, because we're now at the point where the end of the book is literally in play. So how it plays out is this -- these very evil entities, with their human cohorts, are absolutely bent on destroying the human race."

        I listened through this a couple of times, and it's not at all clear who the evil entities are. The fallen angels, presumably. Since he cites xenogenesis, I'm guessing that these evil entities somehow replace human embryos in human uteri with extraterrestrial embryos. Or something. But anyway, alarmism sells on late-night radio, and Steve Quayle is perhaps its most creative salesman. A glance at his page on the C2C web site tells us that he's been predicting catastrophe since 2002 (according to Quayle, collapse of the dollar on 28 May this year was inevitable.) Plus he still has that annoying speech idiosyncrasy "The point being, is..." Ugh.


vonmazur said...

If you could listen to the whole thing, you are better than I.....After about an hour of the BS, I went to the classical music station...All of the doomsayers on C2C are very annoyingly wrong almost all the time. George does not help by his credulity and fawning over these persons..

Cartoonbear said...

Jeez, you mention David Sereda but don't opine further, so disappointing! Between his logorrhea ("holy of holies" "holy of holies" "HOLY OF HOLIES") and his thinly veiled racism (basically, the builders of all great things have been proven to be "Nordics) he manages to be both unlistenable and yet hypnotizing. Like many C2C guests, he just... goes... on... and on... in a tone of voice which becomes just background noise... til you're like "WAIT a minute, this guy is a complete idiot..."

I couldn't derive much actual content from his segment, but here's what I did get (aside from the above):

1) Royal cubic inches? Royal cubits? And he translated these into inches (which apparently the Egyptians and Americans both have a similar inch, both of which are probably the same size as whatever is in David Sereda's pants). So turns out these metric measurements of... whatever Egyptian important things?.. are all, like, MEANINGFUL numbers. Like 777.7! ""How could the Egyptians have known that their pyramid block segment would add up to 7.77 in Metric???!!" Sereda asks. "THEY COULD NOT KNOW." Therefore... God? I think?

2) Apparently some Egyptian pharoah had a forearm measuring 21 inches long. (Which type of inches I'm not sure--the smaller type of inch Sereda uses to measure himself, to give himself more inches?) Sereda mentions as an *aside* (of course!) that he is an "average" height... 6 feet tall! He sounds tremendously manly, despite his bizarre face/head thing.

3) Absolutely everything Sereda does, he does in that town in New Mexico with all the new agers. DAMN I gotta look up its name. SEDONA! OK, he lives in Sedona with all the other people who have multiple chemical sensitivity, are alien abductees, channel ancient Roman footsoldiers, heal using tones over the phone, cure cancer on the regular, and are white. He must be credible if the community of Sedona accepts him! Plus it makes all his activities "scared".

4) He was once a "solid state physicist". When I was a kid we had this black and white TV (yes! we had TWO tvs! and one WAS color!) and it said ZENITH solid state on it. I puzzled about that for a long ass time. Finally I decided it meant it was not going anywhere or planning on changing in ANY way. That felt comforting.

5) His wife is named Crystal but you know what, I bet she wasn't born with that name. And I bet she's one of the few people who have changed their name to be MORE rednecky and low-class!

HARRUMPH ok I am done, sorry, but GRRRR Jimmy Church is such a lazy ass, just like George, he gets some maniac with a borderline personality disorder on and he just lets.. .them... go... the host barely speaking... until the listeners are baffled with a migraine and full of rage.

expat said...

Very good, Claire. Thanks for the laughs.

Cartoonbear said...

You are welcome. I enjoy any opportunity to complain about Coast to Coast's hosts and guests. Outside of George Knapp. It's crazy to me that they can take topics which sound so promising and make them so interminably dull. I only listen for the callers. I want to do a short film which is all different types of people saying the verbatim Noory quotes I have collected over the years, like:

"I’ve only ever seen in my life one set of shadow type things and they were shadow rodents. They look like little armadillos but they’re all shadowy."

Of course the callers have great quotes too." My favorite so far:

"You know we’ve heard stuff about the homeless being murdered? The crucial way they’re doing it is reducing their longevity with cheese."