Sunday, August 10, 2014

Those evil NASA goons will stop at nothing

        So the power went out just before Mike Bara's presentation of his crappy Powerpoint slides at the Woo-Woo conference yesterday. Annoying.

        Mike blames NASA. Presumably he thinks the following conversation took place.... [cue the harp arpeggios]

--"Please hold for the NASA Administrator."

--"Good morning, Mr. Perala."

--"Good morning, General Bolden. To what do I owe this distinct pleasure?"

--"I'll come right to the point. You're organizing a conference of pseudoscientists and dreamers in early August, correct?"

--"Yes sir, it's the second annual Contact in the Desert. This year we have a particularly fine line-up including...."

--"Yes, including a speaker named Michael Bara, is that correct?"

--"Oh yes, Mr Bara will be showing images from his recent book Ancient Aliens on Mars Part 2. He's a very knowledgeable man and an excellent speaker. I'm personally looking forward...."

--"Mr Perala, it is not in the interests of this nation that those images be shown."

--"Really? I don't...."

--"I'm telling you, we cannot allow this public display. I speak with the full knowledge and support of the United States Government. Do I have to spell it out?"

--"But General, the images have already been published. The horse is out and galloping across the moors already. It's a bit late to be closing the stable door now."

--"We believe that this Michael Bara person, thanks to his great skills at research and interpretation, and his fine understanding of planetary astronomy, may have much more to show. Information that might cause an invasion by... let's just say a very powerful intergalactic invasion force."

--"Wow!! So what do you want me to do?"

--"A convenient power outage is my suggestion. There's no need to get physical with Mr Bara. In fact, my understanding is that his prowess at self-defense would make that a foolhardy enterprise. He has a twin brother, you know, who could single-handedly defeat a platoon of Marines. Plus he has pet cats. With sharp claws."

--"I see. Well, it is true that power outages are a fairly frequent feature of life here. It's 106° out there, and the demands of our air-conditioning systems are very great. I'm sure that could be arranged."

--"Thank you, Mr Perala. We will be watching. And everything you have just heard will be expunged from your memory afterwards, using the same techniques we used on those Moon-walking astronaut patsies, to stop them blabbing about the alien cities on the Moon.."


Dee said...

Funny!! We need more comedy.

Or perhaps NASA just took a lot of effort to just annoy him briefly. Or anyone tired of his living on lies would have a reasonable motive I guess, caught up in a moment of feeling very tired about the whole charade.

He also twits: "very honored to share a stage with Erich Von Daniken today".

That is only fitting, as EvD is someone he can only hope to surpass one day when it comes to amount of made-up, distorted, unapologetic fantasy peddling under the guise of child-like truth finding and imaginative speculation.

RCH at least aspired once to be a twisted version of Carl Sagan but Bara, after trying first to be RCH, has set his sight even lower: von Däniken. Perhaps a Bara theme park design is in order soon!


Unknown said...

Maybe he has a point. If an asteroid were to hit that conference it would set science forward by decades.

Unknown said...

Just look at that Contact page. Look who's got the biggest mug on there.

What's really funny is that only in America, could he challenge NASA like he does and not get dragged off to Guantanamo by the Men in Black.

Remember Hoagland getting on Russian TV a few years back? Imagine if he told the same porkpies about the folks at Baikonur faking missions. His next mission to Siberia wouldn't be faked.

Unknown said...

Von Däniken made the huge mistake of opening his theme park in Switzerland where people are very well educated. He should have opened in Nevada, closer to Area 51 and Roswell. I remember seeing a video display advertising it one time, including Star Wars type space battles. All I could think was who the f**k is going to pay $38 + parking to see this?

Classic article:

Pix of the inside of the park. Looks pretty empty and plenty of parking to be had:

Apparently it's open again and called Virgin Park (Jungfraupark).

Unknown said...

Just found this. Apparently the US Gub'mint has opened a file on Ancient Aliens.

Watch out Bara. They're coming to get ya!

Binaryspellbook said...

Brilliant stuff.

Anonymous said...

Self-aggrandizement is a constant in the woo-woo talk circuit. Any disturbance to the "program", whether it is caused by the incompetence of the promoters, producers, or presenters, or simply by the weather, is spun as a badge of validation. Certainly the low-budget shoe-string operations presenting delusional fantasy as earth-shattering truth couldn't be experiencing the same sorts of technical difficulties everyone else does from time to time. It has to be nefarious forces bent on keeping these "champions of truth" from gracing us with their vital mind-blowing information like ...sneakers on Mars or the like.

Unknown said...

Another difference between von Däniken and Bara: von Däniken made his fortune in the age of paperbacks when questioning facts wasn't so easy and his books were sold in the supermarket and read on the beach (or on the toilet). His readers didn't have the luxury of Googling the correct answer.

Bara, unfortunately (for him not the rest of us) has to compete with the Intertoobs and those nasty "facts" that spoil everything.

Meanwhile, "Dr Phil" Plait and Neil deGrasse Tyson sleep at night knowing Google is their friend.

Chris Lopes said...

The "They're out to get me" game is kind of fun. For instance, there are times when my Internet service fails when I try to come to this site. It doesn't always happen, and sometimes it happens when I am going to another site, but I figure that's just so TPTB can make the failure look random.

If it is TPTB who are preventing me from coming here, the question becomes why? The main point of this site is to discredit people like Hoagland and Bara by presenting where they are wrong. So TPTB must want people to think they are right. The conclusion then (using perfect Hoagland/Bara logic) is that they are both paid disinformation agents. I admit my head hurt just thinking in such twisted terms.

Unknown said...

The Astonishing Racial Claims of Erich von Daniken

So Von D. was a (not so) closet Nazi. I never knew it. Maybe he and Bara have more in common than I thought.