Friday, May 17, 2013

Robin Falkov Radio takes on the Inaccutron

"If you want something pre-digested and bearing no relation to the truth, you've got mainstream media"
        Thus Dr Robin Falkovnote 1, introducing the very first of what she intends to be a regular series of three-hour internet radio shows on the Sceptre Radio Network, under the racy (if a little obvious) title WHAT THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW.

        Well, what THEY apparently didn't want us to know about in this pilot edition was the plight of the Greek population in a crippled economy (hour 1, with Marie Christine Polymenacou) and the Wild and Free-Roaming Horses and Burros Act of 1971 (hour 2, with John Edmonds). I must say I've heard plenty about both those topics on NPR, and Falkov's exposition seemed to me no less "pre-digested" than any presentation of a complex topic on mass media has to be of necessity. But I admit I was in sampling mode only for those first two hours, and may have missed something non-pre-digested.

Introducing the famous pseudoscientist

        So finally, Falkov introduced Richard C. Hoagland to amaze us all, and although she didn't exactly admit that Hoagland was her POSSLQ (look it up), the way she gushed about what a great time the two of them had prancing around Mauna Kea with the Accutron gearnote 2 let that particular cat at least half way out of the bag. She declaimed "You're hearing this story here for the first time, before anyone else," which is not really true since the pseudoscientist had reported the Hawaiian jaunt live on Coast to Coast AM as it was happening. But then, Falkov never promised that her show would stick to the facts, did she?

        Hoagland said this was the chance of a lifetime, to take the Wacky-Accy to a latitude of 19.5° to do its stuff. If so, he was scampering up the wrong volcano. It's Mauna Loanote 3 which is at 19.5°. Mauna Kea is at 19° 49'.

        Well, you know Hoagland. Mister Blabbermouth. He couldn't bear to tell the story straight—first he had to give us a 25-minute lecture on the Allais Effect, which is the presumptive explanation for the phenomenon he claims to be sensing. I caught some weird extrasensory phenomenon myself as this dragged on, and I swear it was the power of Dr Falkov's "Get the fuck on with it, Richard" thoughts coming through to me.

I thought YOU had the spare batteries

        Finally we got the story, and it was a real screamer. They settled into the visitor center at 3:20 am, for an eclipse that was due 11 hours later, at 2:26pm. The pseudocientist immediately got such amazing "mind-blowing" readings—the frequency swinging all the way from 70 Hz to 540 Hz and back again— that he lost track of time and his battery ran out long before the actual eclipse began.

        Any real scientist, of course, would have declared the expedition a total failure and repaired to the nearest pub to drown his or her sorrows. Not this pseudoscientist, oh no. This, he said, was brilliant re-confirmation of all his theories. The fact that it happened eleven hours early simply meant that the torsion field was coming from the planet Marsnote 4 as it emerged from behind the Sun.

Then it got REALLY silly

        Then it got not just silly but, frankly, insane. The trace formed by the Wacky-Accy reminded them of a picture of the two Hawaiian volcanoes themselves, Loa and Kea. Clearly, to Hoagland and Falkov, "someone was sending messages," probably the secret space program. "It was a definite message," said Robin, as if she would know anything at all about physics. Hoagland explained that torsion waves propagate at billions of times the speed of light, and came up with this exquisite gem of Hoagland-style insanity:

"There has been a rumor that Curiosity and Opportunity have torsion transmitters that send secret faster-than-light messages to NASA."

Richard, go to your room.

A note on the  production values: There were plenty of technical glitches, and patches of dead air, as we've come to expect from what is, let's face it, a strictly amateur enterprise, internet radio. As hostess, Dr Falkov is not very good, but she's not hopeless and I can imagine she might be ok with experience. She has a tendency to giggle—but then, so does Terry Gross, one of the doyennes of NPR.

=================================

1] Dr Falkov is trained in oriental medicine and is a believer in the memory of water. Her idea of helping people afflicted by the Gulf Oil spill is to offer, on her website, bottles of diluted Gulf seawater that have been slammed onto a hard surface several times. From her website:
The price for the 2 ounce bottle of Gulf Oil Remedy is $22.99, plus shipping.
Shipping for one or two bottles is $5.00. The PayPal address is: DrFalkov@yahoo.com 

2] Once again, any readers who have no idea what "the Accutron" means can read a decent enough summary here.

3] Funnily enough,he made the same mistake in Dark Mission (page 91, 2nd edn).

4] When he reported live into C2C, he ascribed the wild excursions of the Wacky-Accy to interference from HAARP. He must have changed his mind about that.


40 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tsk...You non believer. I do however like the idea of repairing to the pub. The Robin n Rich show will roll on and on, and no doubt attract the twue believers..Who coincidentally have no means of thinking for themselves. There are as yet undiscovered microscopic pond life with more aptitude than the average Hoaxland disciple.

SB

Robert Red Ghost Wolf Corn said...

I somehow stumbled across this site a few months ago and it's great fun. I first heard Hoagland about fifteen years ago on C2C. He and someone else were waging a vitriolic argument about the moon. The other guy claimed all the moon landings were faked, while Hoagie insisted that they took place as advertised and that the astronauts had discovered amazing crystal buildings whose existence was being covered up by NASA. They spend a lot of time yelling and trading accusations of "pseudoscience." Great fun, and I've been a big fan of Hoagie's ever since for all the wrong reasons.

expat said...

Welcome, RRGWC. The argy-bargy you remember was Hoagland vs. the nasty, nasty Bart Sibrel. Those of us to whom the men of Apollo were heroes had the satisfaction of seeing Mr. Sibrel slugged in the jaw by Buzz Aldrin not long after that show.

Ms Emma Peel said...

"she gushed about what a great time the two of them had prancing around Mauna Kea with the Accutron gear". Sounds pretty kinky to me.You have to give it to the old lecher. Hoagland is old as Methuselah,yet he is banging a younger chick & she is paying the bills.

Robert Red Ghost Wolf Corn said...

Cheers, expat! Many thanks for the hours of amusement. I have to admit I understand very little of the science that gets flung about here, but Hoagie is such an incompetent con artist, even this liberal arts major figured out early on that he's trying to pull the wool over everyone's legs.

I should have known his C2C opponent was Bart Sibrel--impressive feat of memory, BTW!

I just wish we still had old Robert Andrew Franzone, aka Robert Ghostwolf, to kick around. I hope he wasn't related to Frank Zappa's old pal, Carl Franzone.

Anonymous said...

EP: "Hoagland is old as Methuselah,yet he is banging a younger chick & she is paying the bills."

Might sum up Expat's secret envy pretty good! All these blogs just attempts to take RCH down a notch, down from the top of his tetrahedral pinnacle of bliss. :)

D.

Ms Emma Peel said...

Thanks for the link Expat.The show was hilarious.
This is Robin Falkov Broadcasting live from the Bunny Ranch Nevada.
"Richard.would you like to give the audience a background on torsion physics & hyper-dimensional erectile dysfunction".

Hoag Rider said...

They couldn't get to a store within the eleven hour window before the big event? The Big Island is big, but Hilo is only 71 minutes away. What were they affraid of, a drunk driving ticket?

http://www.ifa.hawaii.edu/info/vis/visiting-mauna-kea/star-gazing-program.html

http://mkwc.ifa.hawaii.edu/current/road-conditions/

http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&tab=wl

Suggested routes
39.4 mi, 1 hour 11 mins Saddle Rd
Driving directions to Mauna Kea Summit Rd 3D2D

Hilo, HI

1. Head west on Iliahi St toward Wainaku St
0.1 mi
2. Turn left onto Wainaku St
0.3 mi
3. Turn right onto Wailuku Dr
0.2 mi
4. Turn left onto Kaiulani St
387 ft
5. Turn right onto Waianuenue Ave
0.8 mi
6. Slight left onto Kaumana Dr
4.8 mi
7. Turn right to stay on Kaumana Dr
1.0 mi
8. Continue onto Saddle Rd
20.7 mi
9. Turn right onto Mauna Kea Access Rd
11.4 mi

Mauna Kea Summit Rd

expat said...

>>What were they affraid of, a drunk driving ticket?<<

A DWP, perhaps? (Driving While Pseudoscientific)

Hoag Rider said...

That's dedication. To travel three thousand miles to Hawaii in order to conduct this experiment, at an HD location, and which seems to need to be conducted during scarce HD events, such as Solar eclipses or planet allignments. Then, when the crusty old battery goes dead, eleven hours before the eleventy hour, Indiana Jones can't be bothered to go back into town and buy a fresh battery so that he can conduct the experiment that was the purpose of his whole trip.

Hell, don't you suppose that there must be a general store, coffee shop, and gas pump at the Mauna Kea Visitor Information Station that sells batteries and film and shit?

http://www.ifa.hawaii.edu/info/vis/visiting-mauna-kea/visitor-information-station.html

Strahlungs Amt said...

http://www.thespacereview.com/article/1022/1

Dwayne Day wrote the funniest article about Hoagland some years back. One thing he noted is that he has a little harem of middle-aged women following him around, hanging on to his every word and clapping excitedly. I suppose it beats Bara hanging out at "Bottoms Up Gentleman's Club". More monogamous.

Then again, like celebrity marriages, I believe pseudoscience marriages are based on career advancement and finding someone whose career can pay the bills. Do you really think those girls go for Mikey for his Brad Pitt looks?

expat said...

Hoag Rider: Well, we don't know what battery it was that flaked. I'm pretty sure that a shitty little AA or 9V could have been obtained, but what if it was his lappy? What if Robin forgot to pack the charger?

Chris Lopes said...

Forgot to pack the charger? Yeah, I suppose someone who believes in homeopathy might not understand the basics of personal electronics maintenance (you have to plug the damn things in to keep them charged), but surely the world's greatest pseudo scientist would have thought to bring it. Such a careful man with an eye for detail would never have made such a mistake. Nope, not ever.

On another note, I think it's quite funny that Hoagie is still playing with that laptop/watch thing. While it's always been a staple of his nonsense, it used to be a sideshow of sorts. Now it's really all he talks about. It's almost as if he's run out of bullshit and this is the only thing left in the barn.

expat said...

Well, there's the numerology, too. It's been a long, long time since he claimed that NASA times launches for when the astrology is favorable, though. Maybe I stung him on that one, pointing out that he has not cited one single valid example from the entire Shuttle program.

Ms Emma Peel said...

Chris Lopez "On another note, I think it's quite funny that Hoagie is still playing with that laptop/watch thing".Not surprising for a guy who has been wearing the same funky ass brown loafers for decades & keeps on sporting a mullet.Hoagie is a traditionalist.

Anonymous said...

Batteries... Erectile dysfunction..Hoagland..No fresh batteries for his wonderous torsion physics devices...Perhaps, just perhaps, Robin had found the batteries....I say no more. ;-)

SB

Hoag Rider said...

Good point, Anony, the irony of needing a teeny, tiny, little battery, in order to measure the effects of HD free energy, powerful enough to destroy the planet that used to be located bettween Earth and Mars. Not to mention all of that abundant Solar energy in Hafuckingwaii.

Strahlungs Amt said...

@Emma Peel,

Those "funky ass" brown loafers and the mullet prove (sorry, STUNNING CONFIRMATION) that he and Ron Jeremy auditioned for the same acting job back in the 70s.

Maybe that's where he met Mikey.

Stay Tuned.....

Strahlungs Amt said...

Anyone else find Hoagie kissing Robin on the lips in that "Curiosity Stealth Mission" video more than a little creepy?

(It's the top video on the Enterprisemission page. There's even an ad for the Mormons there today)

expat said...

I wasn't offended by the fleeting lip-lock, though for sure a continental-style "Mwah!!! Mwah!!!" would have been more appropriate.

Ms Emma Peel said...

@Strahlungs Amt
Considering that Mike Bara & Hoagie`s audience consists of 45-55 yr old tree huggers on acid, the 2 cronies should reconsider the nature of their professional activities.I think there are great potentials for them in geriatric porn.Imagine a scene featuring David Sean Morton (wearing a grey Alien spandex catsuit) " doing it" with Kerry Cassidy,while Robin Falkov is storytelling her first sexual encounter with a couple of Martian Bigfoot's.Priceless.....

Ms Emma Peel said...

I need to apologize to Expat for driving this conversation to the gutter but I blame it on causality. I`m incapable of talking about Hoagland while keeping a straight face.Bara plays in junior league, Hoagland is the embodiment of grotesque.

jourget said...

Hoagland has exhibited an absence of unusual length from C2C over the past few months; his last full show was all the way back on December 1. Since then he's had a half-show with John B. Wells, a few single hours, and a smattering of news appearances.

Do you think his appearance on Robin's show is an attempt to bootstrap himself back into the public eye because C2C isn't booking him as much as it used to? Or has he just been busy with his Hawaii vacation?

Does anybody know the date when Hoagland was on Coast describing his Hawaii trip? I think I missed that one.

Julian Janssen said...

Honestly, it is just hilarious that Hoagland used up his batteries way before the event he was there for. It's just one more piece of evidence of what an abysmal "scientist" he actually is.

expat said...

Yes, RCH has not had his share of C2C air time lately. On the other hand, I was in touch with Bob Zimmerman the other day and he's all pleased that he's had 3 bookings in 6 weeks. I've been trying to tell George & Lisa that Zimmerman is way better than Hoagland for a year. Not that I credit myself with the situation -- maybe I'm one voice among many.

RCH's phone-in from Mauna Kea was the 9th/10th May.

jourget said...

I'd like to think that enough people have finally complained to George and Lisa that truly nothing that Hoagland's "science" "predicts" has ever come to pass. That and the fact that constantly talking about the Accutron and hyperdimensional physics is staggeringly dull.

Thanks for the date reference.

Chris Lopes said...

@jourget
I think it's the later reason you mentioned. Even Noory has to know that the accutron thing is just plain boring, particularly if that's the only trick left in Hoagie's bag. The C2C audience wants to hear about secret spaceships and government conspiracies, not what some old dude and his bunk mate did on their vacation.

@Emma
It's going to take years of therapy to remove the horrible images you placed in my mind with your earlier post.

Anonymous said...

Emma Peel said:
"David Sean Morton (wearing a grey Alien spandex catsuit) " doing it" with Kerry Cassidy,while Robin Falkov is storytelling her first sexual encounter with a couple of Martian Bigfoot's.Priceless....."

Once upon a time when I was at a very low ebb, I actually fancied Kerry Cassidy..Sure, the 'experts' at the time said I'd grow out of it and realise I'd been taken in by the self promoting, camera and discussion hogging, tone deaf, big cat lover. I didn't listen..The result is one that can be told by many...my days quickly descended into fanciful and bizzare scenarios involving a truly depraved Kerry hitting on me at a convention I wasn't likely to attend. Unable to control her animal instincts and my profound pheromone emissions, it rapidly unfolded into a stupor, the like never seen since the time of Caligula..

Anyway. A quick punch on the face soon cured me.

SB

Incidentally...what about Robin AND Kerry...using the batteries Robin 'borrowed' from Richard?

Only saying.

expat said...

Kerry's on form today, explaining that "they" shut down the internet connection from the Supersoldier conf in Henderson at the weekend.

On form grammatically too -- using "in spite of" twice in the same sentence.

Anonymous said...

Expat said:
Kerry's on form today, explaining that "they" shut down the internet connection from the Supersoldier conf in Henderson at the weekend.

Damn!! 'They' are all pervading, all knowing, all ....Kerry; if you're reading this love..THEY don't give a stuff about you or what you say. The only interest THEY might have had in the past was with her opo Bill,(what is he doing now?) but only because 'they' wanted to know where he bought his hat.

SB

Ms Emma Peel said...

I am glad for not being crucified for highjacking this thread with "explicit materials",but confronted with these new age psychopaths, Irony is the best medicine.
@Chris Lopes.My apology ;)

expat said...

EP: You aren't likely to be crucified but, as you know, it isn't my favorite type of material.

Hoag Rider said...

Wouldn't a scientist in preparation for conducting a crucial experiment, want to make sure that all test conditions would be optimal? When was the last time he replaced the battery in his wrist watch, for instance? Wouldn't it have been prudent to have installed a fresh battery about a week in advance, just to make certain that it worked properly? Even at that, shouldn't he have taken along at least a couple of more spare batteries, just in case?

You know, in a clinical trial for medical experiments, there is usually a minimum of one hundred subjects to be tested, and an equally large number in the control group. Five thousand subjects and five thousand members of a control group would be even more reliable for a veracious study.

How many Accutrons do you suppose that Bulova must have tested, just for quality control from the factory?

Don't you think it would have been a better test, if there were at least a hundred other geezers with a hundred more watches, with a hundred fresh batteries up there on that Volcano with Dick?


James Concannon said...

Yes, indeed. I posted my suggested protocol two years ago.

http://dorkmission.blogspot.com/2011/05/experimental-protocol.html

Hoag Rider said...

The only deficiency in your protocols, James, that strikes me right off, is the low number of duplicate experiments, and the small size of the control group. Since these experiments require that the tests be conducted at a particular hour, date, and geographic location, there is no opportunity for independent researchers to try the exact same experiment for themselves at a latter date.

expat said...

I've contributed a text about the Inaccutron to a new collaborative blog started by Stuart Robbins. My intention was to make it a somewhat more rigorous review of the series of "experiments" than I've been doing in this blog.

http://c2cwatch.wordpress.com/2013/05/25/richard-hoaglands-fail/

Hoag Rider said...

Mauna Loa has no telescopes, only hot spewing lava.

FlightSuit said...

I have a physics question: If Spirit and Opportunity are able to send messages which travel faster than light, does that mean the messages will arrive at their destination before they are sent?

expat said...

Yes, as a matter of fact it does mean just that.

FlightSuit said...

So then if NASA can presumably send faster than light messages back to Spirit and Opportunity, they could potentially respond to problems the rovers are having before they actually have the problems.

This could get complicated.