Thursday, October 13, 2011

Mike Bara, historian, explains the Space Race

        Ancient Aliens returned to the History Channel for a second season last night, featuring the error-prone Mike Bara, this time promoted as a historian. Perhaps they should rename the channel the "Wild Conjecture Channel" while the series is running.

        Mike luuuuurves being on the show because it hands him the greatest of all pick-up lines in the lounges of Las Vegas. Last season he was an anthropologist, giving us the benefit of his expertise on the Doorway of Aramu Muru in Peru. I wondered at the time whether Mike had ever actually been to Aramu Muru, or even to Peru. Now I'm wondering if he's ever been to anywhere in South America at all. Maybe. I'd ask him, but he never answers my e.

        Anyway, here he is explaining the Space Race, from an ep that hasn't aired yet:

"The whole Space Race almost seems like a joke ... the fact is there wasn't an American rocket program versus a Russian rocket program. We had a German rocket program. We didn't have an American rocket program."

        Well, there's a grain of truth in there to be sure, although it might come as a surprise to the American engineers at Convair and Glenn Martin who designed and built the Atlas and Titan ICBMs respectively (both of which also served to launch astronauts to Earth orbit in the pre-Saturn era.)

        But really, what on Earth persuaded the producers that Mike had expertise on rocketry? Didn't they know what a total cock-up he made of the Explorer 1 orbit in chapter 12 of The Choice? ("I won't bore you with the details, but that simply cannot happen." Oh yes it can, Mike, as long as you measure the orbit from the center of the Earth.... D'oh!!!)

        The production values of Ancient Aliens are actually pretty good. It looks like National Geographic. They do have some strange talking heads, though --George Noory on anti-gravity???? Then again, count the number of times the narrator says "Could it be....," "Is it possible...," or "What if..." and you'll understand that we aren't dealing in facts.

        No wonder Mike Bara fits so comfortably. He doesn't deal in facts much either.

And so modest, too....

        On Facebook Mike posted "Just watched myself on TV. What a stud." At least this time he didn't remind us what kind of car he drives.

19 comments:

Chris Lopes said...

It sounds like the people behind this show start with a narrative, write the script accordingly, then cherry pick clips from the interviews they've done to fit that script and narrative. It's likely then that they sat Mike down for one interview before the season started, and asked him questions on the topics this season was going to cover. A lot of what you are likely to get from such long interviews (especially when dealing with someone like Mike) is very stream of consciousness related. That is, he just said what ever came to mind. You aren't getting a comment on actual space history (a topic he doesn't really know anything about anyway) as much as just some cool sounding BS he just thought up.

expat said...

Chris, I'm sure that's absolutely right. Actually in last night's show he only commented that the Yoruba statue of Eshu reminded him of an extraterrestrial "grey." I didn't know those damn ETs went around masturbating, but you live and learn I guess.

Chris Lopes said...

Expat,
Maybe Mike just thinks that's the grey's "anal probe". ;)

Biological_Unit said...

I don't think Mike brought his weight down through exercise. He used Crack, because that is what a lazy person would do.

Chris Lopes said...

BU,
That would certainly explain much of what is in Dark Mission and The Choice.

Biological_Unit said...

All the secrecy. I find it astonishing that NASA is so familiar with this stuff. But to disclose this to the public? No way. It makes me sick. The arrogance of these people.

Aliens would be good for NASA's budget, you 'tard!

What can we expect from Comet Elenin now it comes close to Earth?

I think they "feel" that it still exists.

Chris Lopes said...

BU,
Unfortunately you are correct. Some people would rather believe in comforting fantasies than deal with the world as in. They won't let a little thing like reality interfere with their dream world. Hoagland is just a guy who collects the rent for their castles in the sky.

Anonymous said...

OT
ELENIN. The END.
http://astroblogger.blogspot.com/2011/10/waiting-for-comet-elenin.html

expat said...

George, is this you by any chance?

bas1-hamilton02-1279489407.dsl.bell.ca

Biological_Unit said...

Whatever that link is, I can't open it!

expat said...

It's not a link, it's the address of a computer from which someone has been having too much fun with the wikipedia page about comet Elenin. I just thought it looked suspiciously like you, with hamilton in there. If it isn't please disregard...

Chris Lopes said...

It appears that some of the folks on Hoagland's page are a bit disappointed with the "something wonderful" that he promised. For those of us who were around last year, this is EXACTLY how it went down. Hoagkland promised "disclosure" at the September ESA conference. When it didn't happen, he claimed discloasure WAS happening, only in a very subtle way. Now he's claiming the big build up Elenin had was justified by the mobs now "occupying" some cities. If I were a Hoagland fan, I'd be asking for my $10 back.

Anonymous said...

Looks like the backtracking begins,

Richard C. Hoagland
BULLETIN:

"I will be on "Coast to Coast AM" tonight -- First full hour (with Rob Simone, who is "sitting in" for George Knapp) -- to discuss the looming abandonment of the International Space Station (ISS), in November 2011 ... Elenin's Closest Approach to Earth, today, October 16th, at 19:50 GMT ... and Elenin's potential Hyperdimensional influence on "Occupy the WORLD."

Stay tuned .... :)"

I love how put in "Potential"

What a fraud

Biological_Unit said...

Please call in nasty comments, lie to the call screener.

Chris Lopes said...

Anon,
This one might prove entertaining. Some of the doubters have put him in a bit of a foul mood. He may even be ingesting an adult beverage or three. Without adult supervision (Noory is better at keeping him under control), he's likely to really step into it. I'm sure there will be plenty of material for another Expat post.

Biological_Unit said...

The Ancients sure were smart to have calibrated the magnitude of stars. In 1856, Norman Robert Pogson formalized the system by defining a typical first magnitude star as a star that is 100 times as bright as a typical sixth magnitude ...

yet it was handed down from the Ancients, what an obvious facepalm!

Biological_Unit said...

resonate with the torsion field
stunning leap of consciousness

BAWWWW! I want to go back to RCH's paid forum. You unfeeling robots are holding me back!

Chris Lopes said...

BU,
They were also pretty good at predicting the time and date system we'd end up using, including the whole time zone thing. A pity none of the civilizations they supposedly had direct dealings with ever survived contact with less enlightened but better armed "barbarians".

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